Crystal’s Crystal Ball: July

When it comes to trends, it’s important to stay ahead of the game. That’s why we’re bringing you a monthly column from our favourite style maven, the one and only Crystal Rasmussen. Blessed with an innate gift for communing with the fashion Gods (not to mention the industry’s best Little Black Book Dress) each month Crystal will gaze into her crystal ball to give us a head start on what to wear…

First things first: I cannot speak to individuals. (If I could I’d be constantly hounded by all my wealthy ex-husbands.) What I can speak to is style. Yes, that slippery goddess — the one who transforms as we do, sliding around our psyches. Taunting us. Tempting us. She’s a cheeky little queen, the Goddess of Style, but luckily after years of practice I’ve developed a direct communication stream with her - which is why I’ve never made a single style faux pas.

I was shocked last week when, in our most recent deep-meditative-personal-shopping state she simply whispered “puff!”. I realised she must be talking about the puff sleeve. The ultimate in socially distanced dressing: big sleeves, puffy dresses, Cloud Busting by Kate Bush. For this we look to designers like my good friend Simone [Rocha], my ex-boss Cecilie [Bahnsen] and London’s darling Molly Goddard. They’re perfect for summer: easy, breezy, distanced — all that fabric making it impossible for people to get too close.

Then on Wednesday night, after a particularly thrilling Zoom-Gala-Event in honour of me and the Square Toed Mule, hosted by Bottega Veneta’s dear Daniel Lee, I was lowering myself into a bath full of oat milk when my Google Mansion sound system crackled into life: playing none other than Chain Reaction by my darling friend Ms. Ross. (Don’t panic, dear reader, this happens a lot.) I knew instantly it was Lady Style reaching out through the airwaves. Then it clicked: chain accessories. Bottega Veneta, BY FAR: anyone worth their weight in solid gold (me) knows that bits covered in bits are the way forward. Clutches, sunglasses, Connell’s chain (another ex!).

Then on Thursday, as I was highlighting rich men in the Yellow Pages (much better than Tinder), my highlighter pen ran out. Once again it was Contessa Style! This could only mean one thing: the highlighter hue is back. Versace, STAUD, Bernadette. This is about standing out after staying home: out of the bedroom and into the Ritz darling, brighter than ever.

One thing to keep in mind here is that Our Goddess doesn’t work in terms of binary gender. And neither does what she showed me next. In our next séance, I was transported back to London in the 90s: only I saw it now through the eyes of Lady Style. Distressed denims, plaids, destroyed knits. Stefan Cooke, Bethany Williams. She’s back for another round — Le Nouveau Grunge, as we say in Paris. Think layers, think shagging the whole band in the back of their van. (I miss you, Mick.)

By this point I thought my weekly interactions with Our Lady Style were over. But alas, as I was crocheting a giant blanket of Sarah Michelle Gellar’s face for my Etsy store, I accidentally spilled bleach over the whole thing. Useless! Or so I thought, until I realised it was a Sine From Above (Alexa! Play Chromatica.)

It was actually yet another nudge from our darling friend La Dame du Style: get crafty. Whether with Bode, Marine Serre or AMIRI, designers are getting craftê (that’s French) with tie dye, bandana print pieces and summer shirts covered in darling embroidery. Think Festival without the Festival (and the appropriation); think eco-commune without the compost toilet.

Of course, Mx. Style is politically aware, a critical thinker. And so it’s no surprise that her most pressing message — which comes to me constantly in the form a weekly reminder to put the green bins out — is sustainability. Remember: you can always shop our conscious collection.

Now, dear reader, I’m off to get unconscious on Martinis and plan next week’s outfits.

TTYN. xx

Crystal Rasmussen is the alter ego of writer, performer and media personality Tom Rasmussen, author of 2019’s bestselling Diary Of A Drag Queen.

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